When I went to go milk early this morning, I found one of the kid goats dead stiff on the barn floor. I thought she was sleeping outside her pen, but when I touched her she was stiff and cold, eyes glazed over. The dirt around her was pushed about like as if she were making snow angels. A sign of her last fight for life. Hannah said that a farmer once told her that if you're going to have livestock your going to have deadstock. I guess that rule can apply to many different things in life. It reminds me of a favorite Dogen quote, "When one side is illuminated, the other side is dark...."
My dark side right now is that i have developed carpal tunnel in both my hands, my right being worse. At night my hands are numb and if i could feel them they would feel like they were on fire. This is hard work and I admire all that can keep up with it and love it while doing it. I always thought my body was healthy and strong, but I am starting to find my Achilles heel. I did a tarot reading for myself because I was so distressed by all the "problems" i have been encountering. I got two amazing cards, the eight and nine of pentacles (apparently my version of watching Die Hard). I was pumped and realized that i needed an attitude adjustment. So with the help of multiple cups of coffee, I am determined to turn things around for the best. Life goes on.
